SO…. there are about 9 of us in the house right now. Pretty overwhelming at times, but still pretty sweet My parents, three long girls, Miss Rachel Darling, a Greek fiance, and a couple from America. My parents had a meeting with the Architect who is going to design our new church building. So the rest of us walked around town and had a bite to eat.  We came back at the end of their meeting.

Now. The architect is Greek married to an Australian woman, and they both own the business together. Their house is CRAZY! They both are very modern and unique in their design styles! So their office area was SO original and cool! I was like, “I gotta see the rest of your house!!” On our way out, I asked, “Can we please see your house?!” It was about 9pm at this time. He was like, “SURE!”

So they lead us all up! SO many “wow!”s and “oooooo”s echoed all throughout the tour! They live right on the beach and have a gorgeous view! Their daughter said she kittens upstairs so all the young peeps of the group ran up to play with them! 5 they were! Adorable! At some point we carried them down to ask mom to pick one as a joke! And I saw that they had all sat around their pool! With wine and cheese out! So we all came down, sat around, laughed, joked! At some point the owner (Architect) gets up! “I want you to swim in my pool! I’ll go get bathing suits!” He jumped in! Alkeos whipped out the guitar, more people jumped in the pool! It was a blast!! We left the house past midnight!!

Now that! Is Greek, Mediterranean, Eastern hospitality! It truly was a fun night!! Wish you could have been there!

What’s been up?
Well I’m currently in Greece hanging with my parents, Kali, and her fiance. Christi and Rachel are soon to join the club!! I’ve been planning a WEDDING! Yep! 36 days left! I honestly CANNOT wait! Simon is in England working. I miss him loads.

I’ve also been working at my parents bookstore.

And just finished reading Job.

“One evening, about 200 intercessors gathered in the main hall for training and impartation. Pastor Philip opened the session, explaining the Word of God in simple terms so that even the new believers could easily understand. Knowing that too many believers tend to get caught up in the power of the anointing, he did not preach on power. Instead, his sermon focused on the beauty of an intimate relationship with the Lord. He was convinced that everyone who was intimate with the Lord and who befriended God would have a life and ministry filled with His anointing.

“After his sermon, he invited every person present to stand arm in arm. Then he turned around, knelt by a corner of the pulpit, and began to worship and cry, weeping with great, choking sobs. He didn’t say another word. The only sound that came out of his mouth was groaning.”

And the story continues of how he just worshiped in the mists of everyone without being bothered and God’s presence touched everyone mightily.

I find myself longing to know God that way. To feel His presence consistently, even when I’m alone just praying and reading. I’m inspired by this saint in the faith to grow in intimacy with God.

I’m ready to move on.

Can I just skip over all the packing and the long plane ride?

anger.

There has to be more to it than just thinking the words, “i forgive you,” or internally choosing to “let go.” Yes, it starts there… you can’t get anywhere unless there is an inner “setting of the heart” to love…. but for some reason… that’s just not enough. Dang it! There has to be an outward proclamation, a renewing of the mind, a continual reinforcement of positive attitude.

a confession of anger.

“BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger” Eph. 4:26.

“Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions” Mark 11:25.

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” Matt 18: 21-22.

As I’ve watched this family over a year and a half, their struggles and dysfunctions, I know for certain there is nothing I can do to undo what’s been done. Following me here? The way the mother has been raised, and now the way she is raising her own children. I can’t change any of that. So I feel as if no matter what I do, nothing will change.  Still I do what I know best. I love, hold, clean, verbalize affection, play, love, give, love, love, love. And it brings me joy like no other!

But why is the world the way it is? I trust that God has a purpose and a plan, and that it is perfect and just. Ultimately, for His glory. But it breaks my heart to see them where they are at. The brokenness between mother and daughter, daughter and father. Can it ever be mended? I feel like no word I ever say could restore that. I know Jesus can, but do I believe that? Honestly, if I believed it I would howler it from the rooftop. So what I do? I stay silent and do the only thing I have faith in. I love them. Again and again.

I long to see Jesus break in. But I don’t know what that looks like. Jesus, i only got 4 weeks left. Please don’t let fear or uncertainty let them slip through my fingers. Guide me, Father please make them one of your own.

Just got back from an awesome Spring Break! Myself, and four other lovely ladies, ventured West to Kansas City, MO (Sis, Rachel, Jen, & Lori). We spent a week in the International House of Prayer. Sat in some of their University classes, visited one of their down-town ministries, had AMAZING fellowship with each other and friends there. I haven’t laughed that much in a long time! Overall, I was blessed beyond measure.

My prayer since being back is that God would change my paradigm of Worship. I wanna know what He thinks about when we sing to Him. I wanna glimpse of what happens in the heavenly realms. How important is it? How much does the attitude of the heart affect it? I want new eyes!

Also, I find myself in place of longing. For deeper knowledge of Him, for greater hunger, for passion, I wanna do all things right! I wanna sit at His feet and learn from Him.

So in my attempt to wake up and finish my hmwk assignment, I’m left wanting more from life….as always. Jesus! Break me through!

¹ A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse;
from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.
² The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him—
the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of might,
the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the LORD—
³ and he will delight in the fear of the LORD.

He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes,
or decide by what he hears with his ears;
⁴ but with righteousness he will judge the needy,
with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.
He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth;
with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked.
⁵ Righteousness will be his belt
and faithfulness the sash around his waist.

⁶ The wolf will live with the lamb,
the leopard will lie down with the goat,
the calf and the lion and the yearling together;
and a little child will lead them.
⁷ The cow will feed with the bear,
their young will lie down together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox.
⁸ The infant will play near the cobra’s den,
the young child will put its hand into the viper’s nest.
⁹ They will neither harm nor destroy
on all my holy mountain,
for the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the LORD
as the waters cover the sea.

¹⁰ In that day the Root of Jesse will stand as a banner for the peoples; the nations will rally to him, and his resting place will be glorious. ¹¹ In that day the Lord will reach out his hand a second time to reclaim the surviving remnant of his people from Assyria, from Lower Egypt, from Upper Egypt, from Cush, from Elam, from Babylonia, from Hamath and from the islands of the Mediterranean.

Jesus, I know you’ve already done so much for me. But will you please fix my eyes on you? For I cannot bear to look upon myself any longer. Please give me a revelation of you that will shake me to my core, that will transform my mind, that will encourage my heart. I need you…

All I ask is for a glimpse of you… that will rock my world.

Haha, but I hear You say, “Gina, my daughter, run after ME! Am I not enough for you? Do you wanna go save the whole world and lose me? I AM THE END. Babe, if you don’t get that in you now… you’ll lose me in the chasing after a vision. I AM YOUR VISION! I am what you are living for! Me, THE person!! Can you be satisfied in me? I am enough? Clearly, you don’t know me. If you only saw a glimpse, if you only tasted, you’d never want anything else! Come to ME, Gina…I am calling you.”

Give me grace, give me strength to love you rightly God. For I feel the war within…. to satisfy the desires of the flesh….and those of my precious Spirit.

Oh Jesus… I surrender. Apart from you, I can do nothing.